Today's
Moron of the Day may contain the greatest story ever in the canons of Gooberism. After being crowned Miss Trailer Trash of Land O'Lakes, Florida in 1978, Elizabeth Breeden went on to chalk up an impressive 18 arrests...
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| The many fetching looks of Elizabeth Breeden, as capture by the finer police photographers of Florida |
Among the highlights: Shoplifting, cocaine possession, fraud, etc., etc.
But as you may have gathered from her series of mugshots above, Elizabeth is also wickedly beautiful. Her looks allowed her to skate on her various crimes and continue to knock down the topflight boyfriends.
In fact, the 41-year-old supermodel moved in with a new boyfriend in May. The other night, they were enjoying the fruits of their opulent lifestyle, pounding some Natural Light at their palatial compound.
That's when Elizabeth noticed that her beau was drinking the last beer. When you're a man-killer like she is, it's expected that a true gentlemen always cedes the last beer to a lady. But her boyfriend failed to follow the basic courtesies to which Elizabeth is accustomed.
So she asked him to fork it over. Boyfriend refused.
Outraged at his absent chivalry, Elizabeth grabbed the can and ripped it in half. Not only is she a pile of feminine dynamite. She bears the strength of 1,000 billy goats trained in mixed martial arts.
The boyfriend stood, apparently stunned that the last beer had been ruined -- or at least rendered really hard to drink. That's when Elizabeth slapped him in the face and, for good measure, kicked him in the balls.
When deputies arrived, Elizabeth claimed she's the one who'd been kicked. But since evidence indicated she was lying through her teeth, she was arrested for domestic battery.
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